Mom Meltdowns February 29, 2012

I was at Target today, minding my own business, roaming the store and enjoying the first day the little man’s been back to school after being out sick for almost 2 weeks. Browsing the sales, riding down the aisles on the bar below the cart….just being a jackass…or rather partaking in my own jackassary….then it happened, it hasn’t happened in a while, and while I try to be worry free for the most part sometimes those things you push to the back of your head because the logical part of you knows you can’t stress over what you can’t control finds a way to creep out.

 

What happened you ask?? One of my biggest fear came true…a giant green monster came through the front doors of the store, ran down the aisles screaming and growling…yanking everything off the shelves…pushing everyone who was in his path out of the way…searching frantically for ½ priced orange juice…once he found the oj….destroying everything in his path…he made his way….still screaming and trashing everything in his way…to the checkout. He then handed the cashier his expired oj coupon, and when the cashier politely, and slightly terrified, tried to politely explain the stores coupon policy the angry monster bit her head off, said “There’s your coupon bitch” and walked off…oj and expired coupon in hand….

 

 

Wait—that didn’t happen—but I have your attention now don’t I?? And I made you laugh a little too…didn’t I?? So now on to my real semi-emotionally related-meltdown….I’m roaming the aisle, goofing off, admiring my own genius for the long johns I found on clearance for super cheap, and I saw an older lady with 2 teenage boys…they weren’t related, it wasn’t a family outing…it was 2 special needs boys…who if I had to guess lived in some sort of group home and were out running errands….The boys were happy, the lady seemed caring…as I was searching for the right type of sausage I overheard them discussing the items they needed and who they were shopping for. One of the boys was walking down the aisle with his hands over his ears. And as I continued to search for the red meat free Italian flavored sausage for my calzones tonight they vanished down another aisle and that was it….That’s where most people would continue to shop and go about their business not giving it much more thought…not me…that moment, when I saw the group of three walk down a aisle in the store, minding their own business, that’s when I almost lost it…right in the middle of the store.

 

I accept the fact that stressing over what you can’t control is pointless, I understand that it doesn’t get you anywhere and I still believe that 100%, BUT that doesn’t mean feelings don’t creep up occasionally.  I accept Autism and all it Is & Isn’t. I accept I can’t control the future. I accept the fact that I must live forever to care for my children, as many special needs parents do…..But I still cannot see a special needs adult without almost losing it. It breaks my heart, not for the person, but for my own family….yes I know that makes me sound like a selfish ass…but I want it all for my kids….and while there are great long term care options available out there I hate thought of any of it! My babies need to stay babies forever…or better yet…insurance companies could realize that 1:91 children will be 1:91 adults before we know it,  and start covering more intensive therapies….Even better that that I need to find the magic trigger that makes each of cuties tick in order to help them grow to be the best they can be….

 

So you’re waiting to hear what happens next right??? Did I cry my eyes out in the middle of the store like a nutcase? Did I say too hell with it and take out my frustrations on the green expired coupon using monster, kicking him straight in his monster rear? Nope, nothing that exciting. Actually, I sucked up my feelings, shoved them deep down where they, along with all the other worries you can’t control, belong, and I went about my shopping. Feeling a little bummed at thoughts of what the future holds, but more than anything feeling excited to see my cuties after school, hug them, and tell them they are PERFECT!!!

 
REMEMBER [When those darn emotions and worries, about whatever it is you may be stressing about, start sneaking in] :::::Van Wilder said it best:::::Worryings like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but doesn’t get you anywhere
 

High School Reunion..To Go or Not to Go? February 27, 2012

10 8 (Mildly Humorous) Reasons I’m likely to pass on my high school reunion:

• I haven’t gone anywhere, anyone who wanted to stay in touch could have easily, and I have stayed in touch with those I was closest to

• Facebook is basically a giant high school reunion every day

• I rarely get a sitter, I’d much rather spend a kid free evening out with the hubby or our friends

• I didn’t really like high school the first time around

• I saw pic of a previous years reunion…it was in a bar…doesn’t that say enough??

• It’s only been 10 years…I don’t miss anyone that much yet…ask me again in time for my 20 year reunion

• I might get beaten with a plastic coke bottle…Remember that school that made Letterman’s Top 10 List? That was my school…here’s a clip of the article for your entertainment value:

Thursday, February 21, 2002

Just after 11 a.m., a handful of students in the cafeteria began fighting. The school’s two on-site police officers tried to break up the fight using pepper spray. The melee escalated and backup officers were called in. By the time they arrived, 25 students were throwing bottles and fighting each other. Over 200 other students were nearby, most of them watching the commotion, and staying out of the way. Two police officers were wounded in trying to restore order. One was cut on his hand while the other sustained a cut to his head. Eleven students received minor injuries during the fight. Most of these injuries were minor scrapes and bruises and for breathing in the pepper spray. The backup officers were able to pull students out of the fight and arrest them. Their actions brought the whole fight to quick end. Six Bowie students and two adults were detained by the police for instigating, or sustaining, the fight. School officials said Bowie is not a troubled school, even though police records show that 14 fights have already taken place at the school since January 1. In comparison, Martin High School, the district’s largest, has had 17 fights already this calendar year. Source: Dallas Morning News – 13 Hurt, 8 Held in Fight at Arlington Bowie High

and here’s where I found the article online [I just copied and pasted it for you guys]

—I have to say the so-called ‘riot’ wasn’t nearly as entertaining or amusing as the news made it out to be

• I just don’t care that much

My Old High Shcool

I’m a MondayListicles Failure this week….I can’t come up with 10 reasons to or not to attend my High School Reunion…I guess I should get to thinking since it’s coming up this year

Can’t get enough? Want to know more about High School Me? Just click on the link…or click HERE to find out more 🙂

Vanishing Words!? February 24, 2012

Remember when your baby was first born, you’d watch him or her sleep? On nights they slept more than 2 hours you’d find yourself checking them in their crib to make sure they were still breathing…not in a morbid way, in a mom way….As they grow you learn to enjoy the silence, let sleeping babies sleep so to speak…right?

Then your kiddo gets sick for the first time, you’re up all night, even when they finally crash out. You’re checking fevers, checking breathing, etc.  I’m not alone so far…right? We’ve all done this….

Then came autism, and first words….when my son first started using words, I’d wake him every morning and ask him to talk to me. Make him repeat that one word he knew at the time. I just needed to make sure his words didn’t magically vanish while we slept. Why would words just disappear, with no rhyme or reason?…No logical reason, but nothing about autism at the time seemed logical to me.  I’m not a mom who knows her kids were born autistic and I’m not a mom who knows something else [whether environmentally related, vaccine related, whatever] caused the autism…Actually I believe autism is a combo of genetic and environmental triggers, and is at times misdiagnosed because it shares symptoms with other, possibly yet to be identified disorders. One day I think they’ll be able to break down what they today call ‘autism’ into 5, 10, 20 different conditions. There are too many variants in every case of autism for it all to be lumped into 1 category…but that’s neither here nor there..that’s actually just my ADD kicking in….getting back on track….

Hmm….where were we? Words!!! Once I realized the words wouldn’t magically vanish in my cuties sleep, next came the new speech/illness fear….Every time a cutie gets sick there’s the fear the sickness will take the words with it. Not in a weird mystic word sucking virus type of way, just in an I don’t really get it but it scares the beejeebus out of me kind of way.  I’m sure in time this fear too will pass and be replaced with some other odd parent fear, in the mean time I guess I’ll just drive the monsters crazy making them say words so I know they’re still there…

What are your irrational, semi crazy, odd, or just amusing mom fears?

As you know I’m a rule breaker bender, and this week’s topic was “Capture what it’s like to spend a day or a moment talking with your kiddo”….Instead I’m telling you what it’s like to worry that moment may never come again….In my rule bending defense, when you’re monsters are nonverbal sometimes you have to bend the rules to fit the topic…right? Either way, hope you enjoyed my ramblings, and I look forward to hearing your mom fears too…Come on now, I know I’m not alone!! 😉

Autism Is & Isn’t February 22, 2012

Autism is:

• Finding new creative ways to teach our cuties, it’s not that they aren’t smart it’s that they learn differently, you have to find what works for each child individually
• Knowing when to stop pushing to avoid meltdowns / but knowing how much to push to encourage learning.
• Positive Reinforcers (aka bribery)…and lots of them….hey I don’t work for free either…just saying
• Different for every child …just as every child is different, autism or not
• As a parent, trying to give your child all the fun experiences any child should get the opportunity to enjoy, all while sheltering them from the stares, the possible sensory overloads, and the general assheadness of many out there who mistake things like stimming for misbehaving
• Celebrating the small victories
• Remembering that autism is not our kids, our kids may have autism, but our kids are still just kids
• Realizing that no matter how frustrating it may feel at times from the parent side of it, remembering it’s a million times more frustrating for our cuties…not being able to express what they are trying to, it’s heartbreaking
• Being a translator…to the world my sons speaks a foreign language, to me he speaks pretty clearly
• A constant fear of regression
• You, as a parent, fighting for all the services your kids need and finding ways to make sure they get them

Autism isn’t:

• Caused by lazy parents..while experts cannot agree on what causes autism, and I have my own 2 cents on the issue….it is 100% NOT caused by lazy parenting
• All savants and rainmen, yes there are some true geniuses out there…some with autism, some without, but autism doesn’t always = geniusness
• Excuses….as parents it’s our job to make sure our kids learn; learn right from wrong, learn appropriate behaviors, learn anything and everything they can learn, anything and everything we can teach them, no excuses are acceptable
• Therapy 24/7, or at least it shouldn’t be….yes consistency is important, but remembering that everyone needs a break and needs down time is equally important. I don’ t get parents that push therapy all the time…My job is to be mom, to tackle the mom duties, the therapists job is to do therapy….my job is to carry over what I can into the home, not to do hours of nightly drills after my kiddos already put in a full day at school and after school therapy
• Bad…I hate all the whinning…in fact I have 2 posts ranting all about it, just waiting for my Bloggy Blankitis to go away so I can finish up the posts….Venting is 100% okay, but realizing autism isn’t bad/terrible/tragic/the end of the world is so important.

So…to sum up my mini rant….Autism is learning new creative ways to make sure our cuties learn, everything else is just parenting….remembering our kids are still kids and are perfect just the way they are, and LOVING them like CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And a final thought on being nonverbal, “Just because I have no words doesn’t mean I have nothing to say”.

Drawing a Blank… February 17, 2012

I’ve been drawing a bloggy blank for weeks now….Give me a topic to ramble about I’ll yammer on for hours, but give me a blank piece of paper and say write and I’ve got nothing…In fact I usually just end up with a sheet full of doodles. I don’t know how you guys do it, come up with new, amusing, entertaining posts almost daily.

My brain is full of random thoughts flowing though my head at a million miles an hour. Random ramblings, rants, lists, religious thoughts, thoughts about loved ones, pointless thoughts, deep thoughts, thoughts about what I need to do, celebrity gossip, flashbacks, thoughts about TV shows and movies, my two cents on all the news happenings, song lyrics….The wheels are always turning…Then there’s my day, it’s always filled with humorous & or jaw dropping kiddo shenanagins. Not a day goes by that someone doesn’t get covered in mud, syrup, soap, toothpaste, or someone doesn’t UFC their brother, beat up a wall, trash the house, roll in fingerpaints, color themselves with Sharpies and nail polish, fingerpaint in butter…something….but none of it seems blog worthy…

So when I sit down, I’ll babble out a few lines of jibberish, sometimes a few paragraphs, then I draw a blank….if I even get that far. Half the time I stare at a blank screen just wondering ‘what to blog about’….and Why do I it? Drive myself crazy over drawing a blogging blank….because I really do enjoy blogiging…I enjoy sharing my ramblings……I just ………..hmm….drawing another bloggy blank……{See what I mean}………Peace out……………I’ll be back, don’t worry, next time with a complete thought I promise 😉 ………

But until then I’m always full of Easy inexpensive meals in Money Saving Meals, and I promise I’m trying to stay caught up on all the great Link-Ups , be sure to check them out, I’ve found some great new blogs to blogstalk follow, you will too, I’m sure 🙂

Wordless Wednesday February 15, 2012

You guys know I’m always breaking changing bending the rules…And you know I’m still voting we change it from Wordless Wednesday to Speechless Wednesday because I’m no good at being wordless, but I love a pic that will leave me speechless…So this week for Wordless Speechless Wednesday I give a pic I borrowed from FB….

**Disclaimer—You guys know NOTHING I post is intended to offended, and for the most part I try to stay controversy free. That being said… these are my views, and while I respect everyone’s views and their rights to have those views, I ask that same courtesy

I Don’t Get It?!? February 14, 2012

What don’t you understand? When I don’t understand something 3 things come to mind

1^st up – Google it

2^nd – Ask God when you get to heaven (This one works for all things I’m unsure of…)

And number 3 – This song pops into my head

But that never stops one from wondering…right? So a few things I don’t understand, some mildly entertaining, some super serious, and all just my two cents… (Most not going past the Google it stage of my list…) – Fell free to share yours too!

• Pajamas / sweats in public – TAKE SOME PRIDE PEOPLE!!
  

  At Least Spring For These

• Why as Americans we think it’s gross to get things like pigs eyeballs, bugs, fish heads, or cow tongues but we love to dig into a big slice of bacon like it’s nothing –  Aka  – pigs ass
• Peoples need to hang on – it’s okay to let go
• Uggs and shorts….I’ll give you that the boots are cute, but they are winter boots…wearing them with shorts, especially in winter just says Hey I’m really insecure and need you to look at my ass as I freeze to death..but don’t worry I have winter boots on so I’ll pretend to be warm
• Moms dressing their little girls like little hookers
• Iced Tea – drinking iced tea is as backwards to me as eating melty ice cream
• The misconception many people, cashiers at the grocery store in particular, have that ‘How are you?’ is a question and not a greeting. No one cares how you really are, a simple ‘No complaints’ is a great answer
• Karma, I’ve tried to believe in it, but it just doesn’t work for me…too many bad things happen to many undeserving people for it to be karma, IMO
• Miracle whip, American cheese, and margarine – They aren’t real….I don’t care what you say!
• Peoples (including my own from time to time) need to have the last word
• People who will only adopt babies, there are so many children out there who need a loving home, I honestly feel if someone’s so selfish that they only want a baby maybe they’re too selfish for a child
• Baths – you’re sitting in a tub of your own funk – grossness!
• Not closing the lid before flushing – butt particles flying everywhere!! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little on this one….Btw – Butt particles are real, and really gross, think about it….someone passes gas, you smell it….you are smelling something…That something you are smelling is butt particles, and their butt funk is actually, literally, in your nose.
• Selfish parents – It’s not about us anymore, it’s about the children…all your wants get (and rightfully so) pushed to the back burner for at least the next 18 years
• How no one thinks that pumping massive amounts of oil out of the center of the earth will not result in some sort of repercussions
• Why ladies gripe about wearing make-up. I’d hate to be a guy, when I get a giant pimple I can pull out the spackle and paint and hide it, guys just have to tough it out…I think, as ladies, wer’re pretty lucky
• People who leave their barking dogs out all night….If they don’t want to hear them bark, what makes them think the whole neighborhood does?
  

  No Yapping Dogs Here

• Celebrities pushing their opinions on political candidates…don’t they know there are a lot of people out there who barely have the sense God gave a goose and will go along with whatever said celeb says…I’m looking at YOU Oprah, among others….
• Ladies wanting equal treatment but getting pissed over doors not being held for them, tabs not being picked up for them, etc
• Saying I Can’t….to quote my great grandmother – ‘Can’t never could do nothing’ or basically, get off your rear and get to it…you’ll get it done…whatever it is
• Worrying about things you can’t do anything about
• Parents blaming autism….all autism means is that as parents we need to find new / better / more creative ways to get through to our cuties
• Parents letting their kids hit them….I don’t care who it is…my child, random person, anyone, you put your hands on me, it’ll be the first and last time, end of story. (and no I’m not saying anything about spanking, spatting, hitting, anything physical in any way)
• Why blame McD’s for childhood obesity, why not blame the parent who buys the McD’s?
• What in the world would make anyone think it’s a good idea to drop the space station into the ocean

I’m sure I could go on and on….but before I bore you to tears….I’ll close with one final thought….

• Why the pot is always so quick to call the kettle black

So….What don’t you understand??

A Uniforms a Uniform…. February 9, 2012

A lot of young women seem to have forgotten this little tidbit, so I thought I’d just throw this out there –

If you wear a Postman’s uniform, you’re a Postman

If you wear a Police Officer’s uniform, you’re a Police Officer

If you wear a Firefighters uniform, you’re a Firefighter

….SO…..

One could safely assume

If you wear a whore’s uniform, you’re a whore

…..just saying

Image Source: http://www.someecards.com/

30,000 Mornings February 6, 2012

Take more time to just enjoy life…­Useless Fact – On average, a person will wake up to 30,000* mornings. What number are you on? (Just multiply your age – in years – by 365 and you have a rough estimate of what day you’re on) I have to say 30,000 aren’t all that many, I want to take full advantage of every one of them!

*Average life expectancy in the US is on average 77 years old, average number of mornings ranges from 25,000 – 30,000 mornings (68 years – 82 years).

The Storm January 27, 2012

The calm before the storm
The quiet before the rain
The lightening flashes
The crackalacking begins
The sky open up
The rain pours dow
Streams of rainwater flow down
Let the storm take all your problems away with it
Let the rain wash them away

Pop a beer
Curl up in a blanket

Watch your troubles wash away
Run outside and dance
Enjoy the storm
Enjoy the rain
Enjoy every moment knowing This too shall passSo I’m joining in MamaKat’s weekly link up again this week….she had me stumped this week I have to admit. My topic choice – #2 – A Poem using the word Storm. Well I have to say I’m the furthest thing from a poet… I love poems, but writting them has never been my strong suit….so I hope you enjoy my attempted poetry 🙂 —Consider yourself lucky…I was going to pick topic #1 but that post would have bored you to death…It would have went something like this:Once I had my babies I chose to be a sahm instead of returning to the workforce because child care for infant twins would cost just as much if not more than I could make, especially considerening I didn’t really have a job pre-kids…just went to school and worked part time….so there wasn’t really much decision making there….it was work to pay for your kids to be in daycare or be a sahm….then 3 months later I was pregnant again…and well if I didn’t want to pay for childcare for 2, I certianly didn’t want to pay for it times 3…Oh and daycares and autism rarely mix….So there you have it….my attempt at poetry ( I warn you I do have another *attempted* poem in my bloggy file waiting to be shared in the semi near future lol) and why I never went back to work….what can I say….MamaKat gave me such good topics this week I had to throw my 2cents in on 2 of them!