LivinLife123

Livin Life, one day at a time, and filling you in on the randomness of it all!

A Uniforms a Uniform…. February 9, 2012

Filed under: humor,joke,thoughts,Uncategorized — Sara @ 8:41 pm

A lot of young women seem to have forgotten this little tidbit, so I thought I’d just throw this out there

If you wear a Postman’s uniform, you’re a Postman

If you wear a Police Officer’s uniform, you’re a Police Officer

If you wear a Firefighters uniform, you’re a Firefighter

….SO…..

One could safely assume

If you wear a whore’s uniform, you’re a whore

…..just saying

 

Friday Funnies January 27, 2012

Filed under: humor,joke,photos — Sara @ 8:17 pm
Tags: ,

Compiling a bunch of pics I’ve ran across online for your entertainment pleasure. *None of these photos were created by me, they were all shots I ran across on random websites* Hope you enjoy 🙂

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-This is a real ad from years ago….oh how times have changed-

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Because when Chuck Norris calls YOU answer!

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Sadly I must confess I’m very guilty of this one

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And finally one for all my teacher friends out there…

Need more hilarious pics to get you through your Friday afternoon? Check out Smile, It’s Funny Picture Time!

 

Shirley & Marcy December 19, 2011

Filed under: family,humor,joke,kids,Parenting,Uncategorized — Sara @ 11:21 pm

A friend forwarded this to me, and maybe you’ve seen it, but it was too cute not to share:

Shirley & Marcy

A mother was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school.
He didn’t want his mother to walk with him.
She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe.
So she had an idea of how to handle it.
She asked a neighbor if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance,
So he probably wouldn’t notice her.
She said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed.
The next school day, the neighbor and her little girl set out following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor girl he knew.
She did this for the whole week.

As the two walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs,
Timmy ‘s little friend noticed the same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week.
Finally she said to Timmy ,
‘Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week? Do you know her?’
Timmy nonchalantly replied, ‘Yeah, I know who she is.’
The little girl said, ‘Well, who is she?’
‘That’s just Shirley Goodnest ,’ Timmy replied, ‘and her daughter Marcy .’
‘ Shirley Goodnest ? Who is she and why is she following us?
‘Well,’ Timmy explained, ‘every night my Mum makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers, ‘cuz she worries about me so much.
And in the Psalm, it says, ‘ Shirley Goodnest (surely goodness ) and Marcy (mercy) shall follow me all the days of my life’, so I guess I’ll just have to get used to it!’

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious unto you; the Lord lift His countenance upon you, and give you peace.

May Shirley Goodnest and Marcy be with you today and always

I know you smiled!
Please pray that Shirley Goodnest & Marcy go with everyone you love

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Status Stealing – To make you laugh September 27, 2011

Filed under: humor,joke,Uncategorized — Sara @ 4:14 pm

I’m not a huge fan of the whole Repost this trend on Facebook, that being said, there are a few chain posts (Is that what we call them? Like a chain letter?? anyways..getting back on track…) going around lately that are too good not to share..Hey everyone needs a laugh now and then 🙂

**Disclaimer**None of these were written by me, and I am in fact stealing them straight from Facebook for you entertainment value***

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “what would you want to talk about?” “Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no god, or no heaven or hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly. “OK,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?” The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmm, I have no idea.” To which the little girl replies, “do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no god, or no heaven or hell, or no life after death, when you don’t know crap?

This one was stolen from http://www.domesticdivapalooza.com/ She also, so wisely said this week “Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself”. This is now added to my list of favorite quotes and to which I am in complete agreement with and still lol’ing at 🙂

THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT (This one is too funny to not forward.) My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that ‘Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super….’ On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn’t moved a muscle. ‘Perhaps you didn’t hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.’ She calmly turned her head and said, ‘In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.’ To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, ‘Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch..

This one was stolen from http://grammyjj.wordpress.com/…While I have to say, at first I have to admit I was curious where the post was going, I am still cracking up at it now 🙂

IT’S OFFICIAL! Facebook users will believe anything their friends copy and paste into their status messages!! Not only will facebook start charging you tomorrow they are also going to bill your credit card for the past 3 years of services!!! … Luckily, each person who copies and posts this status will receive a free Pink Unicorn that sings “I Will Survive” in the mail within a few days. If you don’t repost this status… Facebook code has been set up to automatically set your computer on fire, give you hemorrhoids and kill an innocent bunny in the forest!!!!! DO YOU WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR A DEAD BUNNY??!!?

And last but certainly not least, I stole this post from http://pitbullparalegal.blogspot.com/ She is constantly cracking me with funny posts. I am also so excited for my pink unicorn that should be arriving in the next couple of days 🙂

 

Sayings, Quotes, and Just Good Advice July 26, 2011

The things we say to our kids, and the things that were said
to us as kids. Looking back, some of these sayings and bits of parenting advice
are hilarious…and sometimes I’ll catch myself saying one of these and think, “When
did I turn into my mother?!”

Sayings, Quotes, and Just Good Advice

  • “Don’t make me take my shoe off”
  • “Worse things have happened to better people”
  • “People in Hell want ice water”
  • “Want in one hand, shit in the other, and see
    which gets full fastest”
  • “If it’s wet, and it’s not yours, don’t touch it”
  • “Just because it fits doesn’t mean it goes there”
  • “They’re called privates for a reason, and rooms
    have doors for a reason”
  • “Keep hands, feet, and all objects to yourself”
  • “No Touchie” – To quote Kuzko (Disney’s The Emperors’ New Groove)
  • “I’m not mom, I changed my name”
  • “That’s what you get, I told you not too”
  • “Next time you’ll listen to your mom, won’t you?”

And my favorite is:

“Go ask your dad”

*If you like these check out Great Grandmas Answers a few posts back,
and please feel free to add some of your favorites in the comment section, I
can always use new answers to give the kids 😉

 

“How Nice” – A Joke About Manners July 25, 2011

Filed under: humor,joke,Uncategorized — Sara @ 2:15 pm
Tags: , ,

Flashback to the 1880’s on a ranch out in the country.

Two young women, Amy and Anna, are standing outside on a beautiful day. Amy turns to Anna and says, “You see all this land, that goes as far as the eye can see? My daddy left that to me when he passed away”

Anna looks out at all the land and turns back to her friend  responding, “How nice.”

Amy goes on to say, “You see all this livestock, and all the crops,  my daddy left this to me.”

Anna again responds with  a simple “How nice”.

Amy continues, “You see that beautiful house, the wagons, everything in the house, my daddy left it all to me.”

Anna glances around at everything and again a simple “How nice”, is all she says.

Amy, not pleased with her friends lack of enthusiasm, asks, “Well, what did your daddy leave you?”

Without a pause Anna looks at he friend and says, “My daddy didn’t have a lot of money or nice things to leave me, instead he sent me to finishing school where they taught me to say How Nice instead of Fuck You.”

~My aunt told me this joke and it still cracks me up…it’s kind of like how in the south you can say anything about someone as long as you end it with ‘Bless Your Heart”.

I’ll show you, it works every time (now you have to say it with a smile for it to really work 😉 ) :

“She’s dumb as a box of rock, bless her heart”

 

 
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