I’m not a huge fan of the whole Repost this trend on Facebook, that being said, there are a few chain posts (Is that what we call them? Like a chain letter?? anyways..getting back on track…) going around lately that are too good not to share..Hey everyone needs a laugh now and then 🙂
**Disclaimer**None of these were written by me, and I am in fact stealing them straight from Facebook for you entertainment value***
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “what would you want to talk about?” “Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no god, or no heaven or hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly. “OK,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?” The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmm, I have no idea.” To which the little girl replies, “do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no god, or no heaven or hell, or no life after death, when you don’t know crap?
This one was stolen from http://www.domesticdivapalooza.com/ She also, so wisely said this week “Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself”. This is now added to my list of favorite quotes and to which I am in complete agreement with and still lol’ing at 🙂
THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT (This one is too funny to not forward.) My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that ‘Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super….’ On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn’t moved a muscle. ‘Perhaps you didn’t hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.’ She calmly turned her head and said, ‘In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.’ To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, ‘Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch..
This one was stolen from http://grammyjj.wordpress.com/…While I have to say, at first I have to admit I was curious where the post was going, I am still cracking up at it now 🙂
IT’S OFFICIAL! Facebook users will believe anything their friends copy and paste into their status messages!! Not only will facebook start charging you tomorrow they are also going to bill your credit card for the past 3 years of services!!! … Luckily, each person who copies and posts this status will receive a free Pink Unicorn that sings “I Will Survive” in the mail within a few days. If you don’t repost this status… Facebook code has been set up to automatically set your computer on fire, give you hemorrhoids and kill an innocent bunny in the forest!!!!! DO YOU WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR A DEAD BUNNY??!!?
And last but certainly not least, I stole this post from http://pitbullparalegal.blogspot.com/ She is constantly cracking me with funny posts. I am also so excited for my pink unicorn that should be arriving in the next couple of days 🙂