Autism Is & Isn’t February 22, 2012

Autism is:

• Finding new creative ways to teach our cuties, it’s not that they aren’t smart it’s that they learn differently, you have to find what works for each child individually
• Knowing when to stop pushing to avoid meltdowns / but knowing how much to push to encourage learning.
• Positive Reinforcers (aka bribery)…and lots of them….hey I don’t work for free either…just saying
• Different for every child …just as every child is different, autism or not
• As a parent, trying to give your child all the fun experiences any child should get the opportunity to enjoy, all while sheltering them from the stares, the possible sensory overloads, and the general assheadness of many out there who mistake things like stimming for misbehaving
• Celebrating the small victories
• Remembering that autism is not our kids, our kids may have autism, but our kids are still just kids
• Realizing that no matter how frustrating it may feel at times from the parent side of it, remembering it’s a million times more frustrating for our cuties…not being able to express what they are trying to, it’s heartbreaking
• Being a translator…to the world my sons speaks a foreign language, to me he speaks pretty clearly
• A constant fear of regression
• You, as a parent, fighting for all the services your kids need and finding ways to make sure they get them

Autism isn’t:

• Caused by lazy parents..while experts cannot agree on what causes autism, and I have my own 2 cents on the issue….it is 100% NOT caused by lazy parenting
• All savants and rainmen, yes there are some true geniuses out there…some with autism, some without, but autism doesn’t always = geniusness
• Excuses….as parents it’s our job to make sure our kids learn; learn right from wrong, learn appropriate behaviors, learn anything and everything they can learn, anything and everything we can teach them, no excuses are acceptable
• Therapy 24/7, or at least it shouldn’t be….yes consistency is important, but remembering that everyone needs a break and needs down time is equally important. I don’ t get parents that push therapy all the time…My job is to be mom, to tackle the mom duties, the therapists job is to do therapy….my job is to carry over what I can into the home, not to do hours of nightly drills after my kiddos already put in a full day at school and after school therapy
• Bad…I hate all the whinning…in fact I have 2 posts ranting all about it, just waiting for my Bloggy Blankitis to go away so I can finish up the posts….Venting is 100% okay, but realizing autism isn’t bad/terrible/tragic/the end of the world is so important.

So…to sum up my mini rant….Autism is learning new creative ways to make sure our cuties learn, everything else is just parenting….remembering our kids are still kids and are perfect just the way they are, and LOVING them like CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And a final thought on being nonverbal, “Just because I have no words doesn’t mean I have nothing to say”.

How I Do It July 11, 2011

People always ask me ‘How do you do it?’ You know, have 3 kids with special needs….Well the simple answer is I just do.

I love my kids, they never asked to be brought into this world, and I would and will do anything for them. Wether it’s making ch milk at 2 am like any other mom with a child that can’t sleep or whether it’s changing pull-ups when I’m 75 years old. This is my job, they are my babies, and I will do everything I can to not only to help teach them to be everything they can be, but to care for any needs they cannot, and to let them them know I love them more than life itself and they are perfect just the way they are.

For some reason people have it in their head that raising children with different abilities is super challenging and while some days I admit I want to pull my own hair out, that’s any mom of 3 wild happy, hyper, boys. A lady told me the other day she was amazed at my husband and myself because she had friends with just 1 special needs child that sent the child away because it was too much. I am not judging, I would hate to be in a position I felt it was necessary to send my child for someone else to care for.

That being said,  It’s not so much that special needs kids are more difficult, it’s just that they learn differently than maybe you or I did. I don’t deal with many of the issues parents of ‘normal’ kids face, and I don’t how well I’d do if I had to honestly. My son is 6 and I am just now having to watch what I say because he’s picking up on it. Most parents have to be on their toes about things like from the time their kids are little.

So what’s the point of my ramblings…That every parent who gives it their all, special needs or not, Is a super parent! We all face different challenges with each of our children and the most important things to remember are

-Love them like CRAZY!!!

-Take it one day at a time

-Our parents really were just as clueless as we are

-Your kiddo is perfect just the way they are!!