A Mom’s Food Pyramid March 6, 2012

Convo from the other day:

Friend: I have the house to myself for a few hours Saturday morning; I could get so much done

Me: (interrupting) or you could sleep in or watch TV and be lazy

Friend: That’s kind of what I was thinking

Me: And hey, since wine’s made of grapes that could totally count as a fruit for breakfast…plus it’s full of antioxidants and such

Friend: Double win – I was thinking a Mimosa…the oranges and all….

Me & Friend rambling at the same time:

What about OJ & Vodka…

That’s a fruit and a grain…

wait vodka’s made from potatoes not grains…

that’s a fruit and a veggie…

throw in a beer and you have a well-balanced meal….

Hubby shaking his head and laughing from the other room….

Friends’ response to his doubts that this combo constitutes a nutritious meal: Beer comes from barley –  that stuff has lots of health benefits, it’s very good for you

?????? I can’t believe anyone would doubt my logic about eating healthy ?????

My *updated* Food Pyramid - We all know if it's on the internet it MUST be true!!

But for you doubters out there — I say throw in a side of bacon (or bacon vodka….) for some protein, that HAS to make it a well-balanced meal right?

So there you have it…a lesson in kid free healthy eating…and a fresh new perspective on the tired old food pyramid….Yes I know I left out the dairy group, but if you must add it in just throw in a bowl of ice cream or if you need a double win go for the Whipped Cream Vodka…then you get a dairy and a veggie 😉

*ESO Error = Equipment Superior To Operator

Want some more of my lovely meal time logic?? These relating to kiddo eating 🙂

Cookie Dough For Dinner

Doritos For Breakfast

Don’t forget to check out all the great posts at this weeks

and link up yourself!! 🙂

Wordless Wednesday February 15, 2012

You guys know I’m always breaking changing bending the rules…And you know I’m still voting we change it from Wordless Wednesday to Speechless Wednesday because I’m no good at being wordless, but I love a pic that will leave me speechless…So this week for Wordless Speechless Wednesday I give a pic I borrowed from FB….

**Disclaimer—You guys know NOTHING I post is intended to offended, and for the most part I try to stay controversy free. That being said… these are my views, and while I respect everyone’s views and their rights to have those views, I ask that same courtesy

Last Minute Valentine’s Do’s & Don’ts February 14, 2012

It’s Valentine’s Day!!! For all you last minute shoppers – a couple of good and some terribly tragic not so good gift ideas for your honey

Buying sweets for you sweet is always a nice gesture, but don’t buy them fat free sugar free treats with a note saying ‘Pudge free sweets for my sweetie’

A night in a fancy shmancy hotel, room service, flowers, wine, the whole nine yards….very romantic. A pay by the hour motel, flower scented air freshener, and boxed wine…..not so romantic

While it may be okay to spank one’s honey, DO NOT buy them Spanx as a Valentines gift

A bouquet of flowers is a classic Valentines gift, however if those flowers are accompanied with a card that says ‘I’m sorry for you loss, We’ll miss you Nana’ it probably won’t go over too well…so if you must steal flowers for your honey from the local cemetery, at least have the common sense to take the card off

So that’s it folks….a few tips on what NOT to do to survive this holiday.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY FRIENDS!!!

 

A Uniforms a Uniform…. February 9, 2012

A lot of young women seem to have forgotten this little tidbit, so I thought I’d just throw this out there –

If you wear a Postman’s uniform, you’re a Postman

If you wear a Police Officer’s uniform, you’re a Police Officer

If you wear a Firefighters uniform, you’re a Firefighter

….SO…..

One could safely assume

If you wear a whore’s uniform, you’re a whore

…..just saying

Image Source: http://www.someecards.com/

No Social Media?? I’m Lost!

I’m stumped this week…

I was going to tell you where I was 10 years ago today, but that was my senior year of high school, and I’ve already shared more than enough about High School Me in last week’s link-up. Then there’s a poem to your Valentine. I LOVE my hubby, but we don’t do Valentine’s Day, and as for a poem I’m lost after Roses are red, Violets are blue….Next topic choice, a twist on the book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, If you give a mom _____. This one didn’t work for me either since I haven’t read the book.

Two choices left – Who’s at your front door….That’s not a very interesting story….other than the occasional door to door sales person (who I ignore), and the monthly diaper delivery our front door is a pretty uneventful (and thankfully so) place. Last up, Without social media I….

Without Social Media I

• would get a lot more done around the house, I waste spend entirely too much time playing online
• would have taken all the books on autism, that I read nonstop after we first received out autism diagnoses, books written by experts and specialists, too seriously and would have lost my mind.
• wouldn’t know what’s happening anywhere in the world at any moment…usually before the major news stations break the stories
• wouldn’t be able to ask random questions to strangers and get an answer within minutes
• would actually have to watch the commercials….our remote broke and until I replace it social media provides entertainment value during those commercial breaks
• wouldn’t be able to say a mom who lives across the county, or halfway around the world, whom I’ve never met in person, a friend
• wouldn’t be able to tell tons of people I’ve never met about all my fake problems
• wouldn’t be able to stay in touch with family as easily…okay this one’s an excuse, there’s always been phone calls, writing letter, etc., but I’m a slacker and things like FB make it easier to stay in touch
• couldn’t have my random ramblings heard, for free, shared with anyone interested in reading them…by the way Thank YOU For Stopping By 🙂
• might have stabbed my own eyeballs out during #SummerVacayChaos, and ripped off my ears by the time #SummerVacayHell kicked in
• don’t think it would be nearly as easy for anyone, anywhere to have their voices heard
• couldn’t bribe positively reinforce the kiddos good behavior during therapy with YouTube on their iDevices….not to mention how much the kids have actually learned from YouTube Videos
• think kids’ lives might be a little simpler….yes there have always been ways for kids to get into mischief but things like Facebook, Twitter, MySpace (does it even exist anymore?) put those mistakes out there for the whole world to see….and they don’t go away
• would actually have to open a book to find a recipe for what I want to make for dinner
• would lose my mind!!!

To sum it all up (I’d say to make a long story short but I’ve rambled wayyyy to much for that lol) ….Without social media I would be lost, bored, and have a much cleaner house…funny how just 2 or 3 years ago I knew nothing of any social media and I never felt anything was missing by any means, but now I’m spoiled, I love the convenience of having the world at your fingertips….So…without social media where would you be?

That’s all I’ve got….Have you linked up yet???

 

Buttons for dinner at 10 a.m. with a stranger?! February 7, 2012

A stranger, 10a.m., dinner, & a button…Man I’m running behind again…but I really do enjoy these challenges so thanks for putting up with my always late posts 😉

Day 4 – A Stranger
I never left the house on the 4th, therefore I saw no strangers…but I didn’t know this guy, so I guess he could be considered a stranger…before he became dinner…

Day 5 – 10a.m.
I intended to snap a pic at 10a.m. on the fifth but honestly, when 10am rolled around my hands were so full trying to get ready for a family lunch that it completely slipped my mind…so you get a shot of me at 10a.m. on the 6th…Yup, I’m at the dentist having a root canal…fun stuff! It’s okay to be jealous ;p

Day 6 – Dinner
While I could call the ribs a double whammy, I won’t be that cheap lazy…well I won’t do that today lol
Last nights dinner was potato soup

Day 7 – Button
My sons favorite button on the microwave

30 Ways To Make A Mom Smile January 30, 2012

There’s a Trending Topic floating around in the online world 30 Ways To Make A Girl Smile, but I think 30 Ways To Make A Mom Smile would be way more amusing…so here we go, in no particular order:

1. Your kids actually eating what you’ve made for dinner
2. Your kids not complaining, while they are eating, about what you’ve made for dinner
3. Everyone in the house remembering where the hamper is
4. ….and how to use it
5. Getting to sleep in, even just 15 minutes
6. Your spouse making kiddo breakfast
7. Your spouse making any kiddo meal
8. ….and cleaning up the dishes after
9. The kids throwing their trash in the trash can instead of hiding it under/in the couch
10. Curling up on the couch watching Saturday morning cartoons or movies with the kiddos
11. Little boys remembering to flush
12. Little boys remembering to put the lid down BEFORE flushing
13. Caffeine IV’s
14. Mommy Juice – Yes it’s real…it’s that special juice mommies drink at the end of a long day to avoid ripping someone’s head off during evening shenanagins
15. Someone inventing a washer/dryer combo, no more mildewey smelling stuff because I forget to switch the laundry for a days
16. A laundry fairy *Calling the Laundry Fairy…can you hear me???*
17. Good notes from the teacher saying how spectacularly awesome your kids are doing
18. A full night’s sleep
19. Homemade gifts from the children
20. Family Vacations
21. Free Family Vacations – Are you listening Disney & SeaWorld?? If you want to spend a special needs family of 5 to your park, all expenses paid, I’d be HAPPY to volunteer my family for the job ;p
22. Grocery shopping when the store is nearly empty
23. A kid free dinner out every now and then
24. People learning not to stare….loud stimmy kids are NOT the same as loud unbehaved kids
25. Diamonds, flowers, chocolates…really anything that sparkles, smells delish, or tastes sugary good
26. Someone in the house taking a second to say ‘Hey we really do appreciate all you do’, you’d be amazed at how far a few simple words can go to make ones day
27. The kids waking up the first time you wake them in the morning….or even the second….but by the fifth time it starts to get a little ridiculous lol
28. A winning lottery ticket….okay this one isn’t just for moms but it’s be nice either way!
29. Someone else taking the trash out…before the trash man runs
30. Plastic Surgery – I know some of you may disagree but I say there’s nothing wrong with a little nip and tuck every now and then…kids can do a number on your body…oh can I add *FREE* to this one too? ;p

What’s on your list?

Wait…You mean you want more?? How about a few pics to make a mom smile 🙂

Proper ways NOT to handle a baby

And finally an old ad from a magazine to make us feel just that much about our parenting….

Disclaimer****All of these pics were pics I ran across on various sites like FB and across the web. None were taken by me, but I’ve had them so long I can’t be positive where they all originally came from.*****

Friday Funnies January 27, 2012

Compiling a bunch of pics I’ve ran across online for your entertainment pleasure. *None of these photos were created by me, they were all shots I ran across on random websites* Hope you enjoy 🙂

-This is a real ad from years ago….oh how times have changed-

Because when Chuck Norris calls YOU answer!

Sadly I must confess I’m very guilty of this one

And finally one for all my teacher friends out there…

Need more hilarious pics to get you through your Friday afternoon? Check out Smile, It’s Funny Picture Time!

What Am I Doing? January 26, 2012

Day 25….I can’t believe January’s almost over, crazy how time flies!
Today’s topic – Routine….again…
So…What am I doing tonight??

Every evening, after dinner / pre bedtime, we watch Sponge Bob Square Pants (…then usually iCarly but don’t tell my son I told you that part 😉)

~On a side note, anyone else ever wondered why a sponge lives in a bikini bottom with sandy cheeks and crabs? …just saying….

A Fish in My Bag? January 13, 2012

What’s in my bag? [Day 13 of The 30 Day Photo Challenge]

If I showed you the inside of purse you’d probably never look at me the same again lol….typically I use a purse until it’s too much of a disaster area then instead of cleaning it I just swap purses, stuffing the old one (crap still inside) in the top of my closet. Call it a mini white trash filing cabinet if you will. Need the warranty for the kids now broken iPod – that’d be 2 purses ago, check the brown one…Last months electric bill? Try the purple one. Out of granola bars? Look in the black one….Want a new shade of lipstick – There’s most likely a brand new tube in all my purses….I don’t even put my wallet or keys in my bag because a lot of times once something goes into the purse it’s never to be seen again…As of right now mine is filled with receipts, a broken spilled bronzer, toys, wrappers, make-up, 1/2 eaten candy, and the newest addition- coconut flakes a child dumped in there.

I do own a file cabinet, and it’s actually quite full, but lately my purse has become one as well….and since no one said what type of bag we were peeking into I give you a look into my bag….of candy