Randomly odd things I’ve said, thought, and a few shenanigans thrown in for added laughability.
‘I don’t pee on your paws, why must you pee on my shoes’
‘Yes, you can use the computer…BUT not while eating peanut butter by the finger-full…want a spoon?’ Child yells ‘No Way!’ and is thoroughly pissed…How dare I say peanut butter is only allowed at the computer when on a spoon or sandwich!?
‘You really couldn’t tell your dog food bowl from the trash?’
…and a few hours later…
‘Your stomach hurts? That is what you get for eating all the garbage…dumb dog!’
‘I’m convinced your kids are trying to kill me’ – While suffering mom abuse playing UFC with the boys
‘I’m convinced your kids are trying to kill me’ – This is actually a common complaint of mine…my boys are some SERIOUS shenanaginizers…that’s all I’m saying ;p
~ On a side note, notice that when the kids are up to no good they are always their dad’s kids
‘Put your pants on’
…and an hour or so later…
‘Seriously, if you must stand in the window you really must put pants on!!’
Apparently I am full of dumb rules… why shouldn’t one child who shall remain nameless, not be allowed to pour milk in their brothers’ shoe?
I was watching Beauty and the Beast and I have to ask, am I the only one grossed out by the fact she loves a beast …she didn’t know he was a man… Beast – Bestiality- Barf
Reminders are important…’I know we cut our brownies with a (butter) knife, but we DO NOT run and swing the (butter) knife around like a wild man, EVER’
‘Whoever finds the poo, changes the poo’—I may or may not have been trying to avoid diaper duty
While making brownies with the monsters:
Me – ‘Don’t put your fingers in the brownie batter’
Child- Puts face over bowl and licks batter straight from bowl…because I said no fingers and this way he wasn’t using fingers….
Me- ‘If you must eat batter, get a spoon’
Child – Gets giant spatula, loads it with a massive amount of batter, attempts to eat it
Me- Now gagging at the sight
Child -Spitting out brownie batter
Moral of the story–All things are good in moderation 😉