Livin Life, one day at a time, and filling you in on the randomness of it all!

Autism…3 yrs later July 31, 2010

Filed under: Autism,Uncategorized — Sara @ 6:15 pm

When our pediatrician told me to call ECI b/c at 15 months my twins weren’t’ talking, i thought he was crazy. Kids will talk when they talk, every other developmental milestone had been met. I called anyways and set up an apt for an evaluation. By the time the twins were 3 and my youngest was 1 1/2 it became pretty clear things weren’t just right. After a year and a half of ST/OT with little progress the therapists and I began talking about Autism.  It was hard to accept but at the time I thought, it is what it is, things will still level out.

I’ve never been big on long-term plans but I just knew that by time the kids were 5 and kindergarten age they would be like every other kiddo in their class. As the years passed I forgot about those thoughts and reality set in. The boys were (& still are) in therapy, and in PPCD at the local elementary school. Autism was a part of our daily life.

Now that the twins are 6 and my youngest is of kindergarten age this year, it hit me. This was the year everything was supposed to have worked itself out by. My kids were supposed to  be talking, going on play dates with friends, etc. I’m supposed to be going back to work, life is supposed to moving on…

Well it is, so to speak, just not the way I had once planned. Am I complaining…not really, more just absorbing. I love my kids, we have a blast, but it’s a hard thing to accept the fact that your children may never be able to speak to you, or complete basic self-help skills.

Does it change my feelings toward my children, or have those feeling changed over the years? I would have to say I fell more in love with children than I thought possible when I got the autism diagnosis, but a lot of days are still hard. Especially when those days are followed by sleepless nights 🙂 

But life seems to be that way, as soon as you make a plan it throws you a curve ball….swing, miss, run and hide…whatever you do…time keeps going…So where does that leave me and my broken plans….I guess in the same place I’ve been for the past few years…taking one day at time, trying to keep it together, and praying for the small victories, in autism and in life….


3 Responses to “Autism…3 yrs later”

  1. Susan Says:

    Let’s see–I was planning on being a magazine editor before thirty, then a college professor before forty-five. But I’m looking forward to another year teaching high school.
    I pictured my husband as blond, not too tall and muscle-bound, but my sweet husband of 30+ years is pretty much the opposite of that. And him? He just knew he’d be dead before age forty, but he turned sixty this month. He planned on teaching his son the nuances of baseball, but his low-vision bookworm son made that unlikely.
    I won’t preach, but plans are overrated, and goals? I think one way we set our kids up for failure is by insisting that “everyone has goals.” I so admire the way you just roll with it. No one knows what life will bring, but you find humor and joy in a situation that no one would choose–or wish on someone else either.
    Your boys are beautiful, the love and attention you show them, the herculean effort you make to keep things rolling and provide some constancy for them—well, it’s just amazing. Don’t forget that no one knows what the future holds for them either, but I know for fact that you are the best thing they have going for them today. Love, love, love to each of you. And congrats on your night without kids. Enjoy!

    • admiringmom Says:

      The statement “we plan, God laughs” is so profound. I’ve found it to be true in my life. You are such a testament to strength, grace and dignity. The humor and love with which you live your life and care for your family is amazing! A lesser person would have broken long ago with all you’ve gone through and are still working through on a daily basis. I say this not to blow smoke up your skirt…but to let you know how strong you are. That’s not to say you can’t have your moments – you need to, but you were blessed with your boys for a reason . You are the best Mom they could have ever been given. I’ve never seen anyone with 3 such high-energy little boys handle them with more love, patience and fun than you (there’s a lot of common sense, no-nonsense mothering in there too).
      You’re right, you don’t know what tomorrow holds – but do know that you have a whole army of people praying for you and sending you strength each day – you have no idea where some of these thoughts and prayers are coming from, but know that you are loved and supported! Your life is so worthwhile and you are SO worthy!

  2. Lynn Says:

    You are on the exact same timeline as me! My daughter is 6 and technically entering her 1st grade year. Our pediatrician told me that she’d be caught up by 1st grade….which sounded sooooo far away at the time. Can’t believe we are here already….and not even close to being caught up.

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